Marriage is the most important moment of anyone’s life. Everybody wants a good heavenly married life with their partner but most of the time marriage turns into a nightmare and leads to divorce or even worse. Why do partners start fighting like cats and dogs? Is this happens only in an arranged marriage or in a love marriage also? But love is the most important ingredient to keep a relationship intact. So this fight should not be happening in a love marriage. In this post, we will be discussing the top conversations you should have before getting married to your partner.
Yes, love is important, but only love is not enough to get married. And according to reports love marriage faces a lot more fights between couples than arranged one. The reason is that when you have to spend a few hours with your partner then it is simple to manage your differences. But when it comes to your whole life, you both need to be on the same page.
So what should be done to avoid such conflicts? It is really simple. You need to have a practical conversation with your partner before marriage. But what should be the best topics to discuss with your partner? Don’t worry we will be explaining to you the “top 10 conversations you should have before getting married to your partner”.
Often we ignore these important conversations. But why? At the time of your grandfathers, there was no provision for even a simple conversation between bride and groom before marriage. Oh! I forgot they can’t even see each other’s faces or pictures at that time and get married. Well, they were the adjusting people and managed their relationship somehow. But we are not. We do not even buy clothes without a trial. Then this marriage is the biggest deal of our life.
Marriage can make your life heaven or hell. Then how these important conversations should be ignored? First of all, you need to understand that no one is perfect and no two people can be of the same traits. And the goal of a marriage should be not to think alike, but to think together. Keeping all these points in your mind, you can proceed with the most intellectual conversation with your to be better half smoothly. And the top 10 conversations you should have before getting married to your partner should be on your to-do list.
1. Money And Career
There is no bad thing in talking about money management. Because according to the famous Hindi phrase “paap bada na bhaiya sbse bada rupaiya” money is the greatest. How you both are going to manage your money? What should be the balance between spending and saving? Both partners need to be on the same page on saving or spending money. You need to decide what will be your attitude towards money.
If one person has the attitude to save each and every penny and the other one has the attitude to spend it then this will definitely lead to a financial war. Your attitude towards spending and saving money should be in between. It is also important to talk about the job and future career goals. Are you both going to work or just a single person? In the case of both working, are you going to manage your home and work together and money? This is potentially a tough and long discussion between couples but it is critically important to survive a married life happily.
2. Personal space
Everyone loves the good fragrance of a rose. But what if that fragrance becomes so strong and not let you smell other things? The beautiful rose smell you liked once will start to suffocate you. The same applies to relationships too. Every person needs their personal space in a relationship. There should be a balance between spending time together and giving yourselves time apart in a relationship.
Attention, care, and love are needed but these should not become too much to be seen as obsession and destruction of your partner’s freedom and personality. To be Married couples must discuss this seriously. After all, no one wants a relationship that makes you a prisoner.
3. Handling fights
It is never possible that two pots will not make sounds together. So in a relationship also, fights and conflicts are natural. But there should be a stopping point for any fight. Couples must discuss this stopping point. To avoid a heated argument, one of the partners should let it go sometimes. When one is angry and shouting, the other must be calm and wise at that time to avoid a worse fight.
There should be a code to stop a fight and to please each other after that. Both must be forgiving and forgetful after a fight. Every couple must discuss this fight-resolving trick to lead a heavenly marriage otherwise there is no scarcity of a hell married life.
4. Children
One of the most important conversations between couples should be this. When do you want and your partner want to have a child? How many children you are planning: A chess team or a full cricket team? How you are willing to have the upbringing of your children? If some complications happen in having children, how you both would tackle that? Would you and your partner consider adopting a child in such a critical case? Why these things are needed to be discussed?
There may be the chance that you are willing to have a child early while your partner is planning to have it later. Or you are planning for only one child while your partner is planning for two. So to avoid such conflicts, to be married couples must have such conversation. Anyway, in a country like India and China, people must be discussing their family population.
5. Work-life balance
Are you both going to work? Then how you both are going to manage a balance between your work and life? Will you be able to give time to your partner and family? What if your work demands a busy schedule? You were able to manage it single, but what about in a married life? Everybody gets worried over these questions, especially the girls.
Stop worrying and ask your partner’s view about your work demands. Discuss supporting each other in work. These questions must be discussed between couples because you will always need your partner’s support to be successful. Otherwise, you would have to choose between work or home.
6. Sex Talk
This is the need of every living being and not just humans. And most important, it is not a taboo. It is nature’s part. Of course, marriage is not only for sex but it is true that sex makes a married relationship more strong and healthy. So, couples must discuss this topic openly without any hesitation. Anyway, they are going to do this thing after marriage, so why can’t they discuss it before?
Discuss things like: What are your partner’s sexual preferences? Is he or she bisexual or gay or something? What does sex means to him or her? Is it a taboo to him or her? Is he or she sexually healthy or not? Discuss whatever question comes to your mind about this. You will be spending your whole life with a single person. So you and your partner have the right to know all this.
7. Taking care of elderly parents
You both should discuss taking care of your elderly parents. It will not be always the case that your in-laws or parents will remain young and healthy all the time and live away from you. So as not to get the surprises in an instant, you both must discuss this. How you are going to take care of your in-laws or parents while managing work and home? What are your partner’s views on this topic?
Does your partner accept this good deed and responsibility or find it a burden? For a healthy family environment and a good married life, must consider this conversation as a priority. Because no one could live happily by hurting and avoiding their elders.
8. The things you don’t like of each other
No one is perfect and it is not necessary that you should like all the things in your partner. There must be some things that you don’t like in your partner or vice-versa. And you would be willing to change that. And it is not bad to dislike something in your partner. But you must discuss these likes and dislikes of each other, in order to avoid silly fights over these things.
Both of you must also try to adore those likes and avoid and remove those dislikes of each other together. This discussion would lead to a great understanding between the couples.
9. Family Compatibility
When two people get married, two families and their traditions and rituals also get associated. Both families must have different traditions, rituals, statuses, and styles. You need to discuss: What are the styles and traditions of your families? How do people eat, worship, spend holidays, and manage things in each other’s families? What are the differences and similarities in family values? You would be compatible with your partner’s family or not?
Most of the marriage problems come due to family compatibility issues. So this is one of the important “top 10 conversations you should have before getting married to your partner”.
10. About the past
Before leading a successful marriage, both partners must have full knowledge of each other’s past. Because a strong relationship builds on truth and trust. Discuss and share all the hidden skeletons of your past. And only confession is not needed, you should also verify that your partner is comfortable with your past or not. A hidden truth after the marriage can ruin your beautiful marriage, so better confess it before.
If you want a heavenly married life and not a nightmare, then openly discuss the topics that make you worried about marriage and your partner. Get prepared for a life-changing experience: the marriage with healthy and wise conversations about your married life. And these are the Top 10 conversations you should have before getting married to your partner.
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